Instant Hunter

The Glorious Story Of Pontoon Cat - by Sean Hunter

The Glorious Story of Pontoon Cat

By Sean Hunter

You may think you know the story of Pontoon Cat, but you do not. So stop thinking you know everything, asshole. That is why books exist, so that people who think they know everything will shut up and do something else while regular people build Home Depots and drive cars around pretending to be busy so they don’t have to go home to their empty marriages. 

Pontoon Cat lived by the docks. What business does a cat have hanging out by the docks, you ask? Again, shut the fuck up with all your questions because this is reading time not “asking stupid asshole questions time”. Pontoon Cat lived by the docks because when he was a kitten, Pontoon Cat was a filthy criminal. He thought he was hot shit and stole a bunch of money from the other cats. Pontoon Cat always lied about stealing and blamed the rampant looting on dogs. A likely scapegoat (scapedog). When the Grand Inspector General Cat found out that Pontoon Cat was the actual thief, and not the 9 dogs they had murdered, he was exiled to the docks. 

Pontoon Cat deserved it because he was an asshole, just like you. You’re an asshole. Suck an egg and die.

THE END!